Category: Christ in Your Home

There are not a lot of words in the English language that can invoke the same level of excitement and dread as this 5 letter word can. When we have a lot of it we’re excited, when we have just enough of it we’re content, and when we don’t have any of it we’re afraid.

Money.

There, I said it.

Let’s be very clear, I am not one of those people that enjoy talking about the M word. I don’t bring it up in casual conversation and I can’t maintain a flowing narrative about it.  Now, all that being said I DO have a respect and an appreciation for every stage money has to offer. My family has faced financial hardships in the past. We have found contentment with having just enough and with having more than enough. We have gone through seasons where we needed financial help FROM others and seasons where we could be the financial help TO others.

So, yes I understand the ins and outs of money. Still doesn’t mean I enjoy conversing about it or writing about it.

But here we are, so let’s get into the weeds a bit shall we?

There’s an old saying that a lot of people use out of context when speaking on the subject of money. And I’d be willing to bet you might’ve even used it before;

“Money is the root of all evil”.

Sounds familiar huh? We often use this saying to justify a financial hurt, loss, or misuse. It fits the narrative that some may feel about money when they see others thriving financially and they’re striving to survive. But in actuality this saying is taken straight from scripture in 1 Timothy 6:10 “For the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil..”

Did you catch that? The love of money, not money itself, is the root of all kinds of evil.

It’s also really important to understand the context behind this particular piece of scripture. 1 Timothy is a personal letter from Paul to Timothy full of guidance on how to lead and love the church. Timothy was a young church leader with a strong foundation in the faith passed down to him from his mother and grandmother. Paul offered him Godly counsel and a fatherly love all throughout his letter, including the famous line on money. Paul was laying a foundation of stewardship that would be communicated through Timothy to his church, that his church would then spread to their families and that those families would teach through the generations.

We must teach the next generation to trust in the lack as they trust in the gain. We must show them how to sow so they know what it means to reap. We must practice good stewardship in front of them so they have those skills to pass down to the generation that comes behind them. We must affirm them the same way Paul affirmed Timothy. What does that look like in today’s world?

 “It’s ok to have money and it’s ok to spend money. But when that love for money becomes more than your love for God, THAT is when evil takes root”.

“When you start chasing money more than you’re chasing God, THAT is when evil takes root”.

“When you find your identity in your bank account and not in Christ, THAT is when evil takes root”.

Money may be a sore subject in your household or, maybe it’s not. Wherever you find yourself on the subject the absolute truth is found in Christ and faithful stewardship is a way we honor what Jesus did for us. It’s up to us to lay the foundation that the generation behind us will build on.

And yes, that includes money.

“I hate you”!

I hear my 9 year old (at the time) daughter scream, followed by the familiar sound of a slamming door. I sunk to the floor in the living room and could feel my heart break into a thousand pieces. I thought I had at least until she was 16 to hear those dreaded words! I felt angry, hurt, disappointed, and sad. My 9 year old managed to inflict all that on me with a three word sentenced. She had offended me.

I picked my momma broken heart off the floor, pulled myself together the best I could, and entered the lions den (i:e, my daughter’s bedroom..)

Before I finish that story, let me give you some context before you have time to assume. See, what you don’t know is at the time of that dreaded “I hate you”, we had just made our second big move in 3 years, she was starting a new school in a new state, and her dad and I were living separately. Perfect ingredients for a little kid to feel some big emotions.

I scooped her up, held her close, looked her in the eyes and said,  “You don’t hate me. You’re just hurting”. She nodded yes in agreement.

Now, make no mistake after the tears subsided and we were both calm we had the conversation about how we don’t say things like that to ANYONE no matter how mad or sad we are.

What was happening in my young daughters heart came flying out of her mouth. Her hurt and her pain all came flying out at her intended target, me, hitting its mark perfectly.

“…what you say flows from what is in your heart”

Luke 6:45 NLT

So often it’s the ones closest to us that can hurt us the most. They know what buttons to push, what triggers to pull, and what wounds to bother. So how do we navigate our household, our family life, or any relationship without constantly being offended? Two really practical things:

#1) Realize you are not invincible. Give yourself grace. You will experience pain. You will be hurt. You will be disappointed. You will get angry.  Allow yourself to feel those emotions but don’t unpack your entire life and live there.

“Love overlooks the mistakes of others, but dwelling on the failures of others devastates friendships” Proverbs 17:9

(replace friendship with marriage or relationship if you need to!)

#2) Get to really know the people you do life with. That includes your spouse, your significant other, your friends, your co workers, your kids. Once you know someone’s story, once you know what makes them respond and react the way they do you’re less likely to live offended. Does this take work? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. Once you know what is in a person’s heart you’re able to look past the hurtful words and still offer them grace.

“Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses”

Proverbs 10:12

If I didn’t know what was in my daughters heart when she threw those words at me I wouldn’t have been able to overlook them and love her the way she needed me to in that moment. Really seeing past peoples hurt and seeing them for who they truly are is a lot like how God sees us. He sees past our greatest flaws and weaknesses. He sees past our greatest sins. He sees  past our most serious offenses. And if the goal is to be more Christ like everyday, I think the best choice we can make is to start seeing people (yes, even those in your own family that are the hardest to love sometimes..) as Jesus sees them.

Because not everyone wants to be seen by everyone but, everyone needs at least someone to see them.